What did you ask of me

What did you ask of me that I couldn’t speak

What did you do to me that I could see but couldn’t believe

What words did you speak and with what tongue, that I couldn’t hear

All I could do was drown in the carelessness of sheer disbelief

All I could do was look at my surroundings but never understand

All I could do was utter nothing but do something & never see exactly what it is that I did

What did you say to me about my family that made me sense but never partake

What did you tell me about my friends that made me smile but never really know who they are

What did you undo about my teachings that they could swerve in the opposite direction in my mind

Why did you do something to tell me everything about nothing and why do you conflict in your existence. What jealousy is this if at all

Why do you move away from the answer & the truth & why do you dishonour all that is real & forgivable in a life during a lifetime

What did you tell my brother & my mother, that they couldn’t believe

They couldn’t see clearly through my eyes & my face

What couldn’t you yourself face that needed everybody who needed me; to face with you

Are you man, are you concept and are you question, that I couldn’t resolve

I couldn’t resolve you and I couldn’t imagine you

Couldn’t claim, couldn’t proclaim & couldn’t announce as I should. You & your power to hold me in hiatus (for) ever. Forever to those who are failing to read what they know of me since the start

You and the thing that you asked of me

The thing that made everybody visible but unseen in my heart

Man. Do you need something from my hair or my hand my feet or my belly

Why do you make me hate with my broken “brag” & all the baggage you make me carry to beg you.

Whatever it is that you asked of me, I will do, but hurt,

I will never speak.

By Nomfusi Xinindlu

The collection: Whispers of the day & monologues of Today