Where have you been with your pain

Tell me, where you have been with your pain

Have you been at a deep dark place where your tears made you lazy to look for light

Have you been where calling for help was more unhelpful than anything you have thought of before in your whole entire life

Did it take you where silence was much cheaper

Did it stifle your best thoughts about tomorrow and did you freefall into nonsense

Was your pain super fast at re-charging your most drained state and did your pain make you tired

Were you battling with yourself tirelessly with energy borrowed from sheer hopelessness and were you too numb to care

Where you angry

Did your pain show you that it came, because you could never choose it

Did your pain show you a perfect time to die and did you believe it strongly

Dit it ask you to always remember its sting!

Of course it did…And then:

More tears went for gold on your face when you realised what was making you happy before

That no one back there stole a dime of your happiness

There was no need to drag yourself into your personality day-in & day-out

There was peace in Smiles and no one paid to see them

There was no need to build walls against the “perpetrators”-Whoever they are!

There was no need to hunt for prey or get hurt in a jungle that was not labelled as one.

Has your pain reduced you unbelievably instead of reducing the price to heal it

Where you charged a high price by everyone for not understanding its roots

Did your pain betray your age, your truth and your core & did it lie to you about your family, your education and your work

Did your pain make you wrong about every single thing that you ever saw-&-heard

Has your pain lifted your head-&-neck to horror about the time; and how long did your pain last

Forever, I guess.

Tell me, where have you been with your pain

Have you been where your lips are too dry to answer any of these questions

Has you pain forced you to be thirsty about… whatever

Is your pain a powerful force when seated next to your imagination

Where and though your pain has not made you feel better

May it show you always where never to be bitter…

By Nomfusi Xinindlu
The Collection: Whispers of the day & Monologues of Today